ESL Writing: Working with Data and Comparatives

Writing a paragraph about numbers and raw data is a difficult challenge for students learning English. There are four tasks that need to be reviewed in a writing lesson:

  1. understanding the data;
  2. writing about trends and patterns by comparing the past and present;
  3. writing sentences that make sense;
  4. synthesizing data by transforming numbers into knowledge.

ESL Student Writing Exercise

Students were given tables of raw data. Their task was to write two paragraphs. One, to identify the major patterns of change in vegetable consumption. Two, explain these changes.

Summary of writing errors

  1. Verb tense. ESL students often confused past and present tense when talking about past events.
  2. Describing change. Students were unable to compare two past events and describe what changed.
  3. Phrases. Like, “in the past”.
  4. Ideas not proven. For example, “The consumption of vegetables increased because of farming techniques.”

Some good topic sentences

  1. Koreans like vegetables.
  2. We can see how many vegetables are eaten by Koreans in Table 2.
  3. The annual per person consumption of vegetables has almost doubled in Korea.

Sample Paragraph

The data in table 2 suggest the Korean diet has changed a lot over the past three decades. More specifically, Koreans are eating more vegetables today than they did in the past. In 1970, average per capita consumption of vegetables was about 60 kg. In 2000, that rate was about 165. So today, the consumption of vegetables is almost three times higher than in the past. We can also see changes in the types of vegetables people eat. Today people eat about 5 times more garlic, 7 times more onion and 2 times more cabbage and peppers. Based on these data, we can guess the kitchen table in modern Korea looks very different from the table just 30 years ago.

There are several reasons which might explain the big changes in vegetable consumption.  First is economic. Today, Korea is a wealthy society compared to the past. More money means people can eat more. It also means people have more choices, which includes going to restaurants instead of cooking at home. More wealth also means a different lifestyle. Koreans have a preference for “well-being” which includes healthy food, like vegetables. Another lifestyle change is waste. It is a fact that wealth produces more waste. While it is true that Koreans eat more vegetables, it is also true that more food is wasted, a sad fact which we can see in almost every restaurant. In conclusion, economic development, lifestyle changes and more waste are three possible reasons for the big increase in vegetable consumption in Korea.

Key Vocabulary

  1. analysis
  2. rate
  3. consumption of
  4. higher than
  5. lower than
  6. three times higher than
  7. two times higher than
  8. in the past
  9. increase sharply
  10. decrease sharply

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