Student Writing

What can my students write? That’s a good question. Some of my students are great. Most of them make real progress.

Here is a writing sample from one student. This person attends a Korean middle school where English is taught at a low level. This student spent one year in a North American school so English is this person’s second language.

The purpose of this writing exercise was to develop the writer’s voice. I did that by asking the writer to become a different character. In other words, to see the world from a different perspective and write about what the character sees.

Here is this student’s writing. It is the result of three edits. The writing has not been changed by me; all errors have been left in the story.

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How gentle is the rain that falls softly on the meadow. It is a beautiful morning. But my babies are crying for food. I have to get bugs.

“Mom. I am dying of hunger.” says my baby bird.

“Me too. Help me” another baby said.

So I stand straight, open my wings and jump in to the blue sky. It is hard to find bugs today. I guess I have to go deeper in to the woods.

“Bang. Bang.”

Oh. That is the sound of the hunters’ gun. I have to get out of here. Wait. There are bugs under that tree. I should get them and go back to my babies. The hunter is coming. I should go. The hunter is looking at me and now running towards me. Again, stand up straight and open my wings and jump into the sky.

“Bang.”

Wow that was close. I almost got killed by the hunter. I can see my babies over there crying for me.

“Mommy, I’m hungry.”

Baby birds take the bugs I brought and start to eat like my old friend piggy the pig. It is a wonderful day today.

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Nice work.

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